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oppositional defiance disorder

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No posts since September of 2007? [09 Jan 2008|05:13pm]

[ mood | curious ]

I would hope that everyone has had a few calm months since September but considering this is an ODD Community I sincerely doubt it.  I know I haven't.  I'm new to Live Journal but unfortunally have been shackled by ODD for some time now.  Anyway hello everyone!  I'm 2challenged.

Feel free to check out my Live Journal (just let me know you're from the ODD Community and I will happily add you as a friend).

It's a bit late but I hope everyone had a very Happy New Year.

agree to disagree

[22 Sep 2007|10:07pm]


I know this makes 3 in a row, but it's me again.  Chris got home last Thursday.  We had a few issues, but mostly did ok for a week.  Then on Wednesday he decided he didn't want to go to school.  We made him go anyway.  He got himself kicked out of school, but only for the day.  He told them he would kill himself if they didn't let him go home.  I told them not to worry he threatens to kill himself or some-one else every time he doesn't get his way.  He went back to school on Thursday.  He did good, they didn't have any problems, I took him to his counseling--again no problems, brought him home--again no problems, but as soon as he walked in the door he started screaming at his sister.  Then he started in on how he was going to kill everybody in the house & nobody could stop him.  I sent the little ones downstairs(my husband was in the downstairs shower) & told Chris to go to his room.  He started kicking & hitting things, so I put him in the corner where I could see him.  He did NOT like that idea.  He tried to get downstairs to his little brother & sisters(4,6,9).  I blocked his path.  He started punching, elbowing, & pinching me.  I pinned his arms behind his back & called 911.  Don't worry, I didn't hurt him, I just held his arms behind his back until the officer came(same one that came when Chris called them 2 weeks ago).  The boy can throw a punch!!!!!!  The officer wanted to take him to juvie lock-up, but dispatch said they won't take him until he is 12.  So now he has domestic violence charges  & unruly juvenile charges pending.  I have no idea what we're going to do about him.  He's been calm today(saturday) & yesterday(no school-teacher work day).  He keeps saying how sorry he is & asking for his privileges back.  Apologizing is good, but it might mean more if he didn't ask for something in the same breath.  He literally said "I'm sorry, can I go to A*****'s house now?"  He's not sorry for his behavior, he's sorry he lost his privileges.  It doesn't matter how much meds & counsling he gets, if he doesn't want help it just won't work.      Done for now

agree to disagree

[09 Sep 2007|03:21pm]

 Me again.  I took Chris some clean clothes today & visited for about half an hour.  The nurse asked if I'd be back tonight.  I told her no, but I'd try to come tommorrow night.  She asked why I wasn't coming very often.  I told her in January I cancelled all of our other plans(Chris is oldest of 4) & came to visit every night & most afternoons, all it did was make the other kids madder at Chris.  They all try so hard to be good & get rewards & privileges.  Chris is hateful, violent, & selfish & the courts basicly reward him.  They ordered him into gateway(that we had to pay for). Gateway took him bowling, put-put golfing, they did fun activities & then he got kicked out for being un-cooperative & violent.  We spend all of our money on Chris---his meds, his counsling, his court costs, his psych stays,  & there is nothing left for the other three.  Tommy & Emmy had to drop out of ice skating because we can't afford it.  Katey was supposed to start ice skating in place of her soccer, but there was no money, so no ice skating or soccer.  We paid his last hospital bill instead of joining the YMCA.  Katey & Tommy have friends from school whose parents won't let them come over to play if Chris is home.    I feel awful that the younger 3 kids don't get to do anything & I know it's not all Chris's fault, but everytime Chris finds out that one of the other's is going to get something or get to do something he throws a HUGE fit & gets very violent----------that's just plain selfishness.  I told the younger 3 that we had almost enough money saved to go back to ice-skating, that we'd go sign up on Monday.  Of course they were super excited.  Needless to say------Chris has ruined that.  He called the cops & went to school & promised to kill his step-dad, now we have another HUGE hospital bill.  I'm not going to cancell all of their after school plans to go to the park & do things with their friends just to make Chris happy.  He has got to learn that he is not the only person in this family or the world.  The courts & his counsler want us to change things so he's happy, but they don't care that it ruins 3 innocent kids' lives in the process.  So to bad-----From now on if he ruins things for other people he will lose a privilege that means as much to him as what he ruined did to the other person.  If that makes me mean & un-understanding----to bad.  The truth is once he hits 18 the courts won't care what his mental problems are, he has got to learn to understand that there will be consiquences for his actions.  I hate being the only one who's mean to him, but if no-one else will do it I have to.    Sorry, I just needed to let off steam, I get really tired of being told I'm a bad mom because I won't let Chris walk all over me.
agree to disagree

[06 Sep 2007|10:34pm]

H i!!  Is anyone still here?  I have 4 kids(11yr boy, 9yr girl, 6yr boy, 4yr girl).  My oldest has been diagnosed as bi-polar & ODD.  We hit a bad phase today.  He called 911 & the cops came.  He told dispatch that I'm mean to him.  I made him bring the laundry basket downstairs, i told him to clean his room, he doesn't get any credit, he should get allowance even if he doesn't do chores & if he does do chores he should get a lot more money, & I can't stop him from watching tv.  The cop told him shut up, suck it up, & listen to his mom.  He got mouthy with the officer & said it's all his "stupid step-father & dumb mom's" fault.  The officer told him to NEVER call 911 again unless it's an emergency & to show his parents more respect if he didn't want to be in more trouble.  Chris said he would if he wanted & nobody's going to stop him & he'll watch tv if he wants.  The cop told him that 911 is not a toy & charges will be pressed if he does it again.  The courts won't do much of anything until he is older.  He's already on prevention(kiddie probation).  He was put on prevention when he was 10.  He spent 4 & 1/2 days in a juvenile psych unit in January & was put on prevention.  He is on meds & they help some.  He was in Young Marines, but he got kicked out.  He gets very violent at times(not tonight).  He's only 11,but he's 5 feet 3 inches & 150 pounds.   He's not as much of a problem at school, but he is starting to have problems.  He tries to get sent home 3-5 times a week & he's told the teachers that they can't make him do his work.  So far it's just been little power struggles, nothing serious, but we're trying to keep it from getting serious at school.  That's all for now.  anyway if anyone's still here advice is apprieciated.------------Michelle
3 disagreements|agree to disagree

[18 Jun 2006|04:42pm]

This is my cry for help. Our son's school is broken and we can't fix it. If you know of a school that could help, please tell me the name and city. We'll move there and enroll him and find jobs. There’s lots more about him in my userinfo. Post a comment in my journal, or reply to this entry, or email me jerome.smitt@gmail.com . Please point anyone who might be able to help to my journal or email.

He just turned nine years old. He has violent rages at school (but not at home.) He is very easy to set off, and very difficult to calm. School staff restrains him (holds him down on the floor with their hands) three to five days per week. This has been going on for nearly two years. Educational progress is nil. He is capable of learning but they are not capable of teaching him.

He is at our educational district’s alternative school for children with behavior problems and emotional problems. Their methods of rewards for good behavior and consequences for bad behavior just don't work for our son. Our son is what Dr. Ross Greene calls inflexible/explosive child. Dr. Greene's book The Explosive Child is here: http://www.ccps.info/books/books.html

The CPS [Collaborative Problem Solving] model -- which was first articulated in the book, The Explosive Child -- proposes that challenging behavior should be understood and handled in the same manner as other recognized learning disabilities. In other words, difficult children and adolescents lack important cognitive skills essential to handling frustration and mastering situations requiring flexibility and adaptability. The CPS model helps adults teach these skills and teaches caregivers and children to work toward mutually satisfactory solutions to the problems causing conflict. RESEARCH has shown that CPS is a highly effective model of outpatient care and can be an effective means of reducing restraint and locked-door seclusion and reducing staff and patient injuries in restrictive/therapeutic settings. Source: http://www.ccps.info/

Most recent IEP: we had experienced advocate in our corner. He is also a hearing officer. The school stalled at every stage. Our advocate now recommends we hire a lawyer and file for due process. The school was out of compliance on many issues and completely resistant to change. In our advocate's opinion the school is not providing an appropriate education. In my opinion the school has failed my son for nearly two years, they are incapable of helping him or teaching him, and I will not hand him over to them to try again. They have stalled, they have refused to engage in reasonable discussion about his needs, and they have lied to me.

And I am damn tired of him being restrained an average of (according to the school principal) 3-5 days per week.

There is no private school in commuting distance of our home that can help him. He is okay at home (far from perfect, but we can deal) so he does not need a boarding school or residential facility. He needs a competent day school, and we'll have to move wherever we find one, and we need help finding one

Please tell us the names/locations of any schools that you would recommend. We will go where the school is. There is no reason to stay where we are now, and every reason to move. It would be irresponsible to let our son re-enter his current school in the fall, so we want to move in time to start him at a new school.

That's the important part. We need to find a school and we need it soon. Feel free to pass this question on to anyone who might have useful knowledge. I set up an email address just for responses. Feel free to pass it on: jerome.smitt@gmail.com . (My real name is something else.)

We're moving to a better school. Where is it?
agree to disagree

New Member [31 May 2005|09:15pm]

[ mood | scared ]

I am friend to a parent of a 5 yo with ODD and ADHD. He is very defiant, but wants to be so affectionate. Yes he destroys everything in his path. He is all the time taking things apart. For example, today he destroyed a brand new weed eater. He took all the screws off of it. She doesn't know how to deal with it. Counseling is seem to not be working properly for them. She stays at my home 5 days out of the week. Yet, he seems to be destroying all of my things. He goes into the kitchen and makes horrific messes. Mixes things together such as ketchup, mustard, salts, salsa, and other items. We do not know how to approach his behavior fully. How do we make him understand that no means no? I can't confine him to the house durning the daytime. I also have to keep up with his younger 2yo sister whom seems to be picking up some of the same traits. I don't know if it is following habiats or if she is herself has the disorder. How young is to young to be diagnosed with it? He is on medication, but it doesn't seem to affect him. He also has a sleeping disorder that follows along with it. He has to take Ritalin 20 mg, 5 mg of clonindine in the morning. And at night it is 5 mg of clonindine and the melatonin 3 mg. I worried for him. I am worried it is going to make her crash and burn. He is obstructing her life, but her love for her child is 100%. He is so much stress on her. And it is also hard for her to deal with the 2 yo too, along with his disorder. I need this community and I need lots of feedback. And suggestions I am open too. Has anything worked for you other parents? Does it ever subside? Does she have any hope of it being managed properly? I need a friend for myself to help my friend. Thank You. My name is Sallie. I live in North Carolina. And the child I deal with is 5 yo.

1 disagreement|agree to disagree

im sooo sorry! [15 Jan 2005|12:13am]
I’ve been off doing mommie things. My son is now 16 going on 17 months and has he’s feet totally under him. The one time I tried to get on & write an entry he walked over and turned off my computer… Bye bye entry! oye!

Anyway I’ll try to get on tomorrow and write my entry. Its late now but I he’s not awake to turn it off. So I thought id swing in and say hi.
agree to disagree

My introduction.... [19 Jan 2005|11:49am]

I am a mother of a 12 year child that has been diagnosed with O.D.D. According to his psychologist there are 2 forms of O.D.D. 1) that is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain (that would be medicated) and 2)one that is due to some traumatic event(s).(that would not be medicated) My son falls under #2. He hasn't had it easy. His father died in a motorcycle accident when is was 3 years old. Then later on he was with his great-grandmother, holding her hand, when she died. And on top of that, his great-uncle forced us to move out immediately after her burial. So, this is what the doctors blame it on. I have tried various discipline routines that have been suggested by doctors, but no one discipline plan is perfect. I am currently combining a variety of discipline ideas. By doing this, it is getting easier, yet there are still major rough spots.

I am currently homeschooling my son. Our public school system is just not equiped to handle a child with O.D.D (or they don't want to be) and I don't want my child left behind. He is doing better academically in a home schooled atmosphere and still interacts with other kids that are home schooled.

Sorry I was a bit long winded, but I am glad to see a community on O.D.D.
1 disagreement|agree to disagree

[06 Dec 2004|09:08pm]


I guess this is the time for introductions. My name is Allegra, although I also go by Ally. I am fifteen years old and in the eleventh grade. I skipped grade five. Somehow, in my fifteen years, I have managed to show symptoms of a number of psychological disorders including (but probably not limited to): Social Anxiety Disorder, Specific Phobia, Major Depressive Disorder, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I don't really know what's wrong with me and due to the fact that I have been diagnosed with A LOT of things I tend to be somewhat skeptical. That's it for the niceties, I guess.

blah blah blah.Collapse )

5 disagreements|agree to disagree

introduction... [04 Dec 2004|02:02pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

When I was 14 I got diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder: Moderate. I asked my Dr. if it would ever go away he said most likely not. I am 26 now I still have it and I was frustrated that there are no websites on ADULT ODD. Then when I went to find a community for ODD I didn't find anything. I'm in many communities for mothers on lj. And ive found them all quite helpful. So ive decided to be a forerunner and start a community for ODD.

Its intentions are to give People with ODD a place to vent and discuss the many frustrations of living with this disorder. Also if you are a parent with a child/children diagnosed with ODD you are welcome to join as well. You don't have to be a member to post.

I hope you enjoy the community. Email me if you have any suggestions for the community or anything. Thanks ^_^
8 disagreements|agree to disagree

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